Q: My husband and I have been drifting apart for about a year and half now. Over this period, I notice that our arguments have become more aggressive, and he often states that “I am going to leave you!” or “Go back to your mother’s house!” or “Sorry you don’t leave, I will!”
I am not saying I don’t do anything wrong, no one is perfect, but often I feel like I am being verbally abused by the use of these statements, which has occurred on more than one occasion over the course of this year alone. My question is this: Is the content of these statements considered as Talaq (divorce), and if so what are my rights? Please assist me, I am going through a very confusing time in my life, and feel like my heart cannot handle anymore.
A. Words such as ‘go back to your mother’s house’, etc, are termed ‘Kinaayah’ in Shari’ah and will only constitute Talaaq if said with the intention of Talaaq, otherwise not. If the husband does not intend Talaaq at the time of uttering such statements, Talaaq will not take place. He has to honestly say whether he intended Talaaq by these statements or not.
Both of you should seek counselling. Counselling can be very beneficial in sorting out differences and squabbles. Either get two elders from each family to render the counselling, approach an Ulama body in your area or get an Aalim to sit with both of you and sort things out. Do first try counselling before making any final decision.
Mufti Siraj adds:
Offer two Rakaats Salaah and then make Du’aa to Allah to give you strength and patience and to create harmony between the two of you. There is no greater and more effective solution to a problem than Du’aa that is made by the person who is directly affected.
May Allah Ta’aala grant ease, Aameen.
Moulana Yusuf Laher
Checked by: Mufti Siraj Desai